Tuesday, December 6, 2016

How Cyber Parents should Behave with there Real Children?


How Cyber Parents should Behave with there Real Children?

Why children today are so bored , cannot concentrate on studies, cannot wait, get easily frustrated and have no REAL friends

Children are getting worse in  many aspects.  
We  have seen and continue to see a decline in children’s social, emotional, academic functioning, as well as a sharp increase in learning disabilities, depression and aggression.

Today’s children come to school emotionally unavailable for learning and many factors in our modern lifestyle contribute to this.

1. *Technology*

“Free babysitting service" 
Compared to virtual reality, everyday life is boring. When kids come to the classroom, they are exposed to human voices and inadequate visual stimulation as opposed to being bombarded with graphic explosions and special effects that they are used to seeing on the screens. After hours of virtual reality, they are  unable to process lower levels of stimulation. Technology also hinders parents' emotional availability.

Limit the use of technology. 
Have fun times together. Go for a picnic, trekking, a walk in the garden....

2.  *Instant Gratification*.

Kids get everything they want the moment they want.

“I am Hungry!!” 
Here is the ready snack (packets of junk)
“I am Thirsty!” 
Here is the drink (bottle of soft drink). “I am bored!” 
Use my phone. Watch TV.
The ability to delay gratification is one of the key factors for future success. We have all the best  intentions in mind to make our children happy, but unfortunately, we make them happy at that moment but miserable in the long term.  
To be able to delay gratification means to be able to function under stress. 
Our children are gradually becoming less equipped to deal with even minor stressors and "frustrations " which eventually become huge obstacles to their success in life.

Teach the kids to delay gratification. Do not give in to demands INSTANTLY unless it is urgent

3. *Kids' rule*

“My son doesn’t like vegetables” 
" He doesn’t like going to bed early” “He doesn’t like to eat breakfast” 
“He doesn’t like toys, but she is very good at his IPAD” .....
Children dictate parents.
If we leave it to them, all they are going to do is eat pasta, noodles, pizza and chips,  watch TV, play on their tablets/smartphones and never go to bed. 
We are giving them what they WANT even when we know that it is not GOOD for them.
Without proper nutrition and a good night’s sleep, our kids go to school irritable, anxious, and inattentive.  
In order to achieve our goals,  we have to do what NEEDS to be done.
If a child wants to be an 'A' student, he *needs* to study hard. 
If he wants to be a successful soccer player, he needs to practice every day. Our children know very well what they WANT  but not what is NEEDED to achieve that goal. This results in unattainable goals that leaves the kids disappointed.

Teach the difference between WANT & NEED

4. *ONLY Fun*

We have  created a fun world for our children. 
Endless Activites!! There are no dull moments. The moment it becomes quiet, we run to entertain them again because otherwise we feel that we are not doing our parenting duty.  
Why aren’t children helping us in the kitchen or with laundry? Why don’t they tidy up their cupboards? This is basic monotonous work that trains the brain to work and function under “boredom”.

Teach them to do "boring" chores like folding the laundry, setting the table, tidying up after meals, packing and unpacking their own bags....

Let them have unstructured time. 

Set limits. 
Make schedules for meals, sleep, study,  outdoor play, technology usage.....

5. *Limited social interaction*

Kids used to play outside, where in the  unstructured, natural environment, they learned and practiced their social skills.  
Competition (tuition/coaching), Structured Activites (painting, music, karate, zumba, etc) and  Technology replaced the outdoor time.  
Successful people have great social skills. 
Social skills have to be learned and practiced just like other skills.
Teach them social skills, (manners, cooperation, team work, ...)

We are *responsible* for creating the next generation of healthy, happy and successful people.

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